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Integrative & Holistic Studies Since 1999
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Mindful Engagement Online: Avoiding Virtual Exhaustion & Burnout

Mindful Engagement Online: Avoiding Virtual Exhaustion & Burnout

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Mindful Engagement Online: Avoiding Virtual Exhaustion & Burnout

Mindful Engagement Online: Avoiding Virtual Exhaustion and Burnout

“Burnout is what happens when we ignore the soul whispering against an unhealthy job or relationship.”

—Dina Glouberman, PhD, Psychotherapist and Author

Lately, I’ve noticed the way extensive Zoom calls have been zapping my energy and spirit, and I am experiencing an unhealthy relationship with my computer. So when asked to write an article about virtual exhaustion, I realized I’m not the only one.

But how do you function in a pandemic without the internet?

It feels unnatural for a human being to sit in front of a screen and be “on” for hours.

Indeed, the psychological consequences of “Zoom fatigue” are so widespread, they are now being studied at Stanford University. This month, Professor Jeremy Bailenson, founding director of the Stanford Virtual Human Interaction Lab, published the first peer-reviewed article on the subject.

Bailenson’s study systematically deconstructs “Zoom fatigue” from a psychological standpoint and identifies four reasons why it happens, along with suggestions to help relieve the stress.

Four basic reasons for Zoom fatigue and exhaustion:

  1. Excessive amounts of close-up eye contact
  2. Seeing yourself during video chats
  3. Limited physical mobility
  4. Increase in cognitive load (trying to read and give gestures)

Bailenson’s suggested solutions for Zoom exhaustion and burnout:

  1. Reduce the face size of participants by shifting out of full screen mode and increase the space between yourself and the monitor,
  2. Use “hide self-view” button,
  3. Adjust your camera so you can pace or doodle in a virtual meeting and turn off video periodically,
  4. Take “audio only” breaks and turn the body away from screen occasionally so you aren’t bombarded by the gestures of others.

mindfulness -exhaustion Zoom v

Our Eyes Are Zoom Fatigued

Focusing the eyes in one spot all day can affect our vision. Computer Vision Syndrome was explored by California optometrist, Jeffrey Anshel. He developed a way to relieve computer eye strain called the 20-20-20 rule published in Optometry Times. (This can also be a way to connect and recharge with nature.)

Every 20 minutes, refocus the eyes to something 20 feet away for 20 seconds.

 

Avoiding Burnout through Mindfulness:

Invite Mindfulness Online

From a mindfulness perspective, we can cultivate an online practice to notice what is happening inside our minds, bodies, and hearts. It begins with recognizing our relationship to our computer and workspace. Is it difficult or comfortable; hostile or nurturing?”

“Set peace of mind as your highest goal and organize your life around it.”

—Brian Tracy

The moment we notice that we’re lost in a mindless online vortex, we become present. This simple shift opens space to recognize the level of fatigue in the body and spirit.

Becoming aware of the effects of virtual exhaustion and taking steps to nurture ourselves can shift the relationship with technology and invite a renewed feeling of empowerment and ease.

In any moment, we can gently check in:

  • Is it necessary to be online?
  • What is my energy level?
  • How does my body feel?
  • What am I participating with?

Similar to the way mind chatter unconsciously controls mood and behavior, mindless use of technology can become habituated and addictive. Without noticing, we become drained, disconnected, and unaware of this unhealthy pattern.

Many of us feel like we’re at the mercy of our virtual lives, but with some nonjudgmental, open-hearted awareness, we can begin to shift our relationship with technology and experiment with new ways of nurturing mind, body, and spirit, opening space and relieving exhaustion.

 

“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”

—Eckhart Tolle

 

MIndfulness Teacher

Blog is written by Kimberly Ruggiero.

Kimberly Ruggiero is a long time meditator. She works as a transformational coach and artist. She has a BS in Chemistry, MA in Consciousness Studies and studied at the Lyme Academy College of Fine Art. Kim has training in MBSR and is certified through the Engaged Mindfulness Institute. She works as a Program Coordinator in Integrative Health and Healing and facilitates a Mindfulness Meditation Group at TGI –  every Tuesday evening online –  https://learn.edu/events/

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nailia Mar 04, 2021 No Comments
Mindfulness Meditation Class is offered weekly for the TGI community. 

Mindfulness Meditation Class is offered weekly for the TGI community. 

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Mindfulness Meditation Class is offered weekly for the TGI community. 

Mindfulness Meditation Class is offered weekly for the TGI community. 

What are the benefits of this practice you may wonder? When we train in mindfulness, we welcome the vertical dimension of reality or the timeless and spaceless because awareness is outside of space and time. It is not conceptual or knowable. This doesn’t sit well with the ego which is why it can be very difficult to relax in the moment and simply be.

Learning to shift into being is a radical departure from the old dualistic mind that wants to control reality and force outcomes. Because we are so identified with the mind, surrender is considered a weakness or failure. But if we can identify with awareness, we allow the mind to relax and submit to the vastness of the lived moment where creativity and coherence are possible.

 

This concept is tricky. We all spend so much of our days absorbed in thoughts about the past and the future. With modern technology, it’s possible to spend an entire lifetime distracted by thoughts. 

Einstein believed that ‘time is an illusion’ created by the mind to help us conceptualize the vast ocean of space. 
It’s scary to think that there is no past or future when that is what occupies most of our daily lives. But if you really consider it, we can only ever be present.  That pull of the mind to worry about what happened or to get someplace better is a conditioned reaction to finding comfort and avoiding pain. This grasping for something better and rejecting what is here perpetuates all human suffering.

As a spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle states so beautifully, “You are the universe expressing itself as a human for a little while.”

Like participating with beautiful music, the mind, body, and spirit intuitively align with something far more alive and liberating.

“The future is a concept, it doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as tomorrow. There never will be, because time is always now. That’s one of the things we discover when we stop talking to ourselves and stop thinking. We find there is only the present, only an eternal now.” 
 –Alan Watts, Philosopher, Author and Spiritual Teacher.

Weekly TGI Mindfulness Meditation Group – Every Tuesday Online – led by Kim Ruggiero, MA

This friendly, open-hearted group is for anyone interested in meditation and exploring awareness training. Newcomers are always welcome. The basic structure is guided meditation, conscious sharing, and topic discussion. We go about 90 minutes, sometimes more or less but you are welcome to arrive and depart as your schedule allows.

About Kim

Mindfulness Meditation Class:  6:30 pm – 8:00 pm EST – learn more here: https://learn.edu/events/ 

This post was originally published on Kim’s personal website.

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nailia Feb 23, 2021 No Comments
Transform your ‘Daily Grind’ into a ‘Sacred Grind’ with Kara & Doreen, the Holistic Nurse

Transform your ‘Daily Grind’ into a ‘Sacred Grind’ with Kara & Doreen, the Holistic Nurse

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Transform your ‘Daily Grind’ into a ‘Sacred Grind’ with Kara & Doreen, the Holistic Nurse

 Would you like your ‘Daily Grind’ to feel more like a ‘Sacred Grind’? And are you feeling drained and overwhelmed by the pandemic?

Join us for an exclusive 3-part webinar with Emmy Award Winning News Anchor Kara Sundlun and Holistic Nurse Doreen Fishman on how to manage stress, daily demands and emotions to create meaningful change in your hectic life without quitting your day job!

Learn how to transform overwhelm to joy and ease without quitting your day job!

Sponsored by WFSB-TV in support of The Denise D’Ascenzo Foundation

 

Part 1:  February 11

Master your Day

Kara Sundlun mainstreams the metaphysical with Spiritual Life Coach and Board-Certified Holistic Nurse Doreen Fishman to teach simple yet powerful meditation and manifestation techniques to ease overwhelm and soar in 2021.

  1. Master a morning routine to create more joy all day by learning how to connect to your heart center
  2. Access the most powerful part of your being to create the real change you want this year
  3. Time management to meet your soul goals: How to plug your energy drains to manifest your desires

LIVE Q&A for personalized coaching

 

Part 2:  February 18

Master the Art of Communication

Kara reveals the secrets broadcasters use to communicate with confidence so you can ace your next zoom! Plus learn how to use Denise D’Ascenzo’ s principles for success to align with your purpose: Be Open. Be Brave. Be Kind

Doreen will show us how to use the wisdom of metaphysics to heal relationships and ease family conflict during the quarantine.

Part 3:  February 25

Supercharge Your Body

Join Kara and Naturopath Dr. Artemis Morris for cutting-edge nutritional solutions to increase energy, lose weight, improve moods and superpower your immune system during the pandemic.

Kara will guide you on a fun and inspirational journey of personal growth!

Clear way the energy drains of 2020 to release what no longer serves us while integrating the gifts of these challenging times.

 

A 3-Part Zoom Webinar Series

February 11, 18 & 25 from 6:30 – 8 pm EST

THE GRADUATE INSTITUTE

3-PART WEBINAR FOR A NEW YEAR RESET

 

Registration for the entire series: just $75:

Each session will be recorded for your convenience in case you have to miss any or all of one of the sessions, and a link will be sent to you after each presentation.

Save your spot & register here. 

 

Questions?

Please contact Joyce Logan  joyzelle@aol.com

 

You may also hear from our President, Bruce Cryer, when you join the webinar here!

 

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nailia Jan 26, 2021 No Comments
Cultivating ‘Soul Force’ in a fragmented world – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Cultivating ‘Soul Force’ in a fragmented world – Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Cultivating ‘Soul Force’ in a fragmented world – Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the 1963 ‘I Have a Dream’ speech,  Martin Luther King, Jr. takes a passionate stand for equality, freedom, and democracy.  He was able to hold two contradictory ideas at the same time. While acknowledging the cruelty and injustice of racial inequality, he was also able to invite a sane and loving road back to wholeness.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  – Martin Luther King Jr.

 “Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. … we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”

So, what is ‘soul force’, and how do you get it?

As we mark this historic day, it may be helpful to see the connection between  King’s wise words spoken 57 years ago, words that electrified the country and the emerging holistic worldview.

“For many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom…We cannot walk alone…We cannot turn back.”

I think the power of his speech lies in its ability to resonate a deeper vulnerable truth of love and belonging. The nature of reality appears to be interconnected, not separate.  We need each other and we belong together because we are one household, nobody is less or more important than another.

Martin Luther King Jr. was able to reach beyond anger and egoic mind structures to offer a vision of what was possible. Like concentration camp survivor, psychiatrist, and author of “Man’s Search for Meaning,” – Viktor Frankl wrote that he gave up the notion of being rescued from the horrors of daily life but he knew that giving in to his fear and rage would eat him alive and the Nazi’s truly would’ve taken over his soul. Instead, he chose to see what was possible and spent his days offering comfort to other camp members.  He took agency of his reality. Maybe that is ‘soul force’.

On 60 Minutes last night, there was a segment about the political unrest in the country and the question was asked. ‘Who are we?’  It may be worth starting with the question,’ Who do we think we are?’

King’s ‘soul force’ was felt that day in 1963 and still resonates. People’s hearts lifted with a sense of possibility, connection, and love. That was his dream and it feels like the collective couldn’t be further from that right now.

Mindfulness practice helps us look within and see our  ‘soul force’ and the fragmentation that blocks it.

Having the courage to mindfully see the way we show up in our own lives and lovingly heal our own wounds begins to melt the illusion of separation so we can learn to meet our intolerance and resistance with something more helpful, loving, and creative.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”  –Viktor Frankl

This week, we celebrate the birth of Martin Luther King. In reflecting on his writings and speeches, do you have one that speaks to you at this time? What is your perspective on the ‘soul force’  and how can it show up in your life? Let us know in the comments below. 

Kim Ruggiero, MA

Blog is written by Kimberly Ruggiero.

Kimberly Ruggiero is a long time meditator. She works as a transformational coach and artist. She has a BS in Chemistry, MA in Consciousness Studies and studied at the Lyme Academy College of Fine Art. Kim has training in MBSR and is certified through the Engaged Mindfulness Institute. She works as a Program Coordinator in Integrative Health and Healing and facilitates a Mindfulness Meditation Group at TGI –  every Tuesday evening online –  https://learn.edu/events/

 

Image source:

Washington D.C., DC, USA

Caption reads, “[Civil Rights March on Washington, D.C. [Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mathew Ahmann in a crowd.], 8/28/1963” Original black and white negative by Rowland Scherman. Taken August 28th, 1963, Washington D.C, United States (The National Archives and Records Administration). Colorized by Jordan J. Lloyd. U.S. Information Agency. Press and Publications Service. ca. 1953-ca. 1978. https://catalog.archives.gov/id/542015

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nailia Jan 19, 2021 democracy, equality, fragmented world, freedom speech, Martin Luther King, mindfulness No Comments
Part 2 Mindfulness Reset: Being more mindful in the New Year

Part 2 Mindfulness Reset: Being more mindful in the New Year

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Part 2 Mindfulness Reset: Being more mindful in the New Year

Of all the 2021 New Year’s resolutions, being more mindful is probably high on many people’s lists. We all want the world to stop spinning and find peace in our own skin.  As Michael Franti  said, “It’s never too late to start the day over.” 

We tend to think mind wandering is due to the onslaught of technology and the stresses of external events. However, neuroscience has shown that the tendency to distraction is not due to something out there, but is an integral part of our wiring. Over the next few blog posts, we will explore the unhelpful tendencies of the mind or what the Buddha called the ‘monkey mind’.

Just this morning, I was on a quiet walk near the water and found myself zoning out to thoughts about an email I forgot to send and how forgetful I have been lately, as well as other signs of aging that I’m experiencing. By the time I realized I had exited the moment I was almost home.

Rather than a New Year’s resolution to be mindful, I suggest setting an intention to deliberately upgrade the brain’s software system. By simply bringing more curiosity and heart-centered kindness to all rigidity and resistance, a softening and rewiring happens in the hardware of the brain. The prefrontal cortex grows new connections, where equanimity can begin to calm the duality of the limbic/default brain.

Harvard psychologists Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert conducted a study of ‘stimulus-independent thought” (mind wandering) and found that we are distracted almost 50 percent of our waking hours and we don’t notice it because it happens in the default network of the brain.

In their research conclusion, published 2010, Science 330, 923, they write:

“A human mind is a wandering mind

and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.

The ability to think about what is not happening

is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.”

Mindfulness apps and classes are flooding the internet and after the challenges of 2020, it makes sense that we want to fix the problem of distraction but it can be confusing to know how to actually do that. John Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Center at UMass Medical Center says “an attitude of non-striving is essential for mindfulness”. I recently read someone promoting another mindfulness class with the slogan, ‘Join Us as We Strive for Mindfulness’.

Mindfulness is not a fad or a trend.

Taking a class or downloading an app to learn techniques can be helpful, but if there’s a goal or expectation that ‘doing’ mindfulness will fix something, then it may end up like all the resolutions that are forgotten by Valentine’s Day.

There is no place to get to or goal to be achieved. It is the simple yet profound realization that we are not our thoughts but the one who is aware of the thinking. With practice, we can learn to place attention wherever we like.

For example, mind wandering can sometimes be very helpful. When I write a story or create a new painting, letting my mind make fresh connections is often an important part of the creative process. You may have the experience of trying hard to solve a problem and then having the Aha! moment in the shower…as soon as you stop directly thinking about it. With a little mindfulness, ‘stimulus-independent thought’ can be intentional and beneficial. But when unconscious, thinking can crowd out life experiences and result in rumination and unhealthy behaviors.

The problem isn’t the thinking. Thoughts are important ways we create, invent, express, and learn. The challenge is asking the mind to willingly notice the distraction and tolerate the discomfort of not following every thought.

Conditioned to strive and push forward, it takes practice to tolerate the discomfort of not striving and to give the space between thought and opportunity to arise so we can discover what is actually happening instead of listening to thoughts about what is happening.

Mindfulness doesn’t deal with the content of experience (what happens), it works more with the velocity and depth (how deeply and authentically, we experience what happens).

Space for processing opens possibilities for different approaches to problems and a sense of life being lived through you instead of to you. Breaking the shell of the protective ego softens our rigidity to let real life in. Wholeness and authenticity begin to replace the false self.

In, The Book of Awakening, philosopher and poet, Mark Nepo writes, “This is the ongoing purpose of full attention: to find a thousand ways to be pierced into wholeness.”

If your New Year Resolution includes living life more mindful, may we recommend the following tips for a Reset?

 

Tips for A Mindfulness Reset: 

-Invite stillness and notice what is happening inside and out. If there is resistance, meet it with self-compassion.

-If you find your mind wandering, bring attention to breathing in and out through the heart.

-When stressed, try surrendering to the living moment. Meet the situation with a ‘don’t know’ mind. (Like the Taoist farmer, ask yourself, “Is this good or bad? Who knows?”)

-Remind yourself that there is no past or future. Life only happens in this moment, and you can start the day (or your life) right now.

 

Feel free to offer any comments or share ways you reset yourself when feeling contracted. I also invite you to attend my virtual Mindfulness Meditation class every Tuesday evening, you can find more information here: https://learn.edu/events/

“Be crumbled.

So wild flowers will come up where you are.

You have been stony for too many years.

Try something different.

Surrender.”    -Rumi

Kim Ruggiero, MA

Blog is written by Kimberly Ruggiero.

Kimberly Ruggiero is a long time meditator. She works as a transformational coach and artist. She has a BS in Chemistry, MA in Consciousness Studies and studied at the Lyme Academy College of Fine Art. Kim has training in MBSR and is certified through the Engaged Mindfulness Institute. She works as a Program Coordinator in Integrative Health and Healing and facilitates a Mindfulness Meditation Group at TGI –  every Tuesday evening online –  https://learn.edu/events/

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nailia Jan 04, 2021 brain, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, new year goals, new year resolution, performance, practice, Stress Reduction No Comments
Mindfulness Reset  Part 1: Time to Share and Serve. 

Mindfulness Reset Part 1: Time to Share and Serve. 

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Mindfulness Reset Part 1: Time to Share and Serve. 

Mindfulness Reset:

Mindfulness apps and classes are flooding the internet and after the challenges of 2020, it makes sense that we want to fix the problem of distraction but it can be confusing to know how to actually do that. John Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Center at UMass Medical Center says “an attitude of non-striving is essential for mindfulness”, I recently read someone promoting another mindfulness class with the slogan, ‘Join Us as We Strive for Mindfulness’.

Taking a class or downloading an app to learn techniques can be helpful, but if there’s a goal or an expectation that ‘doing’ mindfulness will fix something, then it may end up like all the resolutions that are forgotten by Valentine’s Day.

Mindfulness is not a fad or a trend. There is no place to get to or goal to be achieved. It is the simple yet profound realization that we are not our thoughts but the one who is aware of the thinking. With practice, we can learn to place attention wherever we like.

As we leave the chaos of 2020, it may be a good time to gather our community and have a conversation about what happened and how we have been affected individually and as a whole. After a year of upheaval, many are searching for healing and a deeper sense of meaning. It reminds me of Mother Teresa’s words, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

The thing many people love the most about the Graduate Institute, besides the cutting-edge areas of study is the sense of belonging. We don’t view each other exclusively as students, administrators, or faculty as much as instruments in a piece of music that expands far beyond the sum of our parts. It feels like those who touch the school in any capacity never really leave, their hearts linger and they manifest differently in the world, resonating with a broader range of notes and new clarity about the gift of being alive. They also know how to share that with others.

“In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it.” –Marianne Williamson

We invite you to take a moment to pause and create a mindfulness practice for yourself. We also love seeing your comments as you share your perspectives below.

As we know from the study of integrative health and healing, people begin to heal when they can express themselves honestly and feel deeply heard by a non-judgmental community.

How are you making sense of the new normal?

What inspiring or creative insights have arisen while dealing with the pandemic, as well as the political and social upheavals?

How has your time with TGI affected the way you navigated the past year?

What are some ways we can all serve the greater community?

“As we forgive what happened in the past, we prepare for miracles in the future.” –Marianne Williamson

If you would like to see more tips for a Mindfulness Reset – you may enjoy the next blog as I share tips for a Reset in Part 2: https://learn.edu/new-year-resolution/

If you like to read my previous blog on forgiveness and surrender – you may enjoy this blog: https://learn.edu/forgiveness-grace-thanksgiving/

Kim Ruggiero, MA

Blog is written by Kimberly Ruggiero.

Kimberly Ruggiero is a long time meditator. She works as a transformational coach and artist. She has a BS in Chemistry, MA in Consciousness Studies and studied at the Lyme Academy College of Fine Art. Kim has training in MBSR and is certified through the Engaged Mindfulness Institute. She works as a Program Coordinator in Integrative Health and Healing and facilitates a Mindfulness Meditation Group at TGI –  every Tuesday evening online –  https://learn.edu/events/

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nailia Dec 27, 2020 community, holistic, mindfulness, mindfulness practice, personal practice, service, spiritual No Comments
We all need tools to help us return to peace instead of remaining in fear and anxiety.  

We all need tools to help us return to peace instead of remaining in fear and anxiety.  

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We all need tools to help us return to peace instead of remaining in fear and anxiety.  

Tools to Help Us Return to Peace and let go of Anxiety  

By:  Henry Grayson, Ph.D.

We have so much that we are dealing with in this world today. There is so much stress, fear, and concern. Yes, all the stress weakens our immune system. We all need tools to help us return to peace instead of remaining in fear and anxiety.

We need tools to help us with this. One I find very helpful is to stimulate on the thymus gland for placing the hand flat on the upper chest. Then, begin to rub it soothingly in a clockwise direction, looking on from the outside.

Then say to yourself, “I deeply love and accept myself, even though I have been feeling a lot of anxiety about all that is going on in this world. I deeply love and accept myself and I choose to let that anxiety go.”

Then take a couple of slow deep breaths and say: “And I deeply love and accept myself, as I choose to let all that anxiety go…. fully and completely, as I let that anxiety go.”

Continue the deep breathing and continue to make this statement. Each time, you are letting more of the anxiety go, knowing that keeping it will not help in any way. Let the anxiety go, breathe it out slowly and fully, “I am letting go of the anxiety and bringing in peace into my mind and my body.”

Dr. Henry Grayson

Dr. Henry Grayson is an expert of the mind/body/spirit psychology: He received his Ph.D. in psychology from Boston University and a 4-year post-doctoral certificate in psychotherapy and psychoanalysis from the Postgraduate Center for Mental Health. He has studied neuropsychology, quantum physics, and Eastern and Western spiritual philosophies.

Dr. Grayson is the author of several books and an esteemed colleague and faculty member of The Graduate Institute where he teaches energy psychology for the Integrative Health & Healing program.

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nailia Nov 25, 2020 immunity, Mental Health, mind/body/spirit psychology, neuropsychology, Peace for Thanksgiving, psychotherapy, quantum physics, stress, thymus No Comments
The Power of Forgiveness and Gratitude

The Power of Forgiveness and Gratitude

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The Power of Forgiveness and Gratitude

Could Forgiveness be a gift and a passage to Grace?

When asked to write an article about forgiveness, I felt hesitant. With so much contention in the world how can anyone willingly surrender their strong position and forgive?

I consider forgiveness to be a superpower, right up there with gratitude. It’s recognizing there is a state of grace beyond suffering, no matter the situation.  They are both evolved qualities that require a certain capacity to hold strong negative feelings in a larger perspective.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”  –Martin Luther King Jr.

Anger and fear are normal, intelligent emotions signaling that a boundary has been crossed. Something needs our attention. When a human being feels betrayed, diminished, abused, oppressed or exploited, instinct is to fight back, run away or dissociate. If the hurt isn’t processed and resolved, seeking revenge, ruminative thinking and resentments often follow. Blinded by emotion and thoughts, we have difficulty seeing that we are hurting ourselves by embodying that painful emotion and resonating that energy inside our bodies and to others.

 “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”  –Buddha

Neuroscientist Rick Hanson, author of Buddha’s Brain writes, “Our brains are like Velcro for bad experience and Teflon for the good.” When hurt, our tendency is to want to hurt back. Forgiveness requires the we stay present with all of our reactivity. It requires that we meet the moment with an open heart and feel what we feel. if we can’t then we stay open and gentle with that, too.

Holding onto anger may offer a temporary feeling of justice, (as anyone knows whose ever held a grudge) but it doesn’t make the hurt go away; there’s often an energy that remains below the surface, growing and expanding the feelings of separation. Unforgiveness feeds the ego that wants to be right. It can also be a powerful energy that fuels destructive action. Unforgiveness, when it is unconscious, is not bad, it simply keeps the suffering growing and expanding, bringing us more of what we don’t want.

Rather than trying to get to a state of forgiveness or gratitude, I think it’s enough to just be present for what’s happening right now. Presence is staying and participating with our experiences in each moment; giving non-judgmental, open-hearted attention to what’s within, whether it’s forgiveness or non-forgiveness. Softening the resistance to a situation or person we have difficulty forgiving can be triggering, so a big dose of patience and gentleness helps. It doesn’t mean becoming a doormat or staying in an abusive relationship. It means making decisions from a place of love not fear.

 

forgiveness

Practicing presence helps build the neuropathway of wisdom; making us better able to respond with equanimity. Meeting non-forgiveness with self-compassion and self-acceptance begins the process of healing and wise action and raises our vibrational energy. The body moves from fight/flight to homeostasis.

 

Forgiveness, like gratitude, comes from a non-dual mind that recognizes we are one. It arises when we include other perspectives; when we are able to shift from a mind that is certain–it’s either right or wrong, to one that is open and willing to observe the nuances of a given situation—I can see why it could be right from another perspective.

 

Presence, like forgiveness, has a quality of receptivity and wonder. It sees and accepts what is, without the reactivity. We discover that what we resist persists, and so we learn how to drop the resistance and stay with the moment.

Anger is palpable in the world right now and many are blaming whole groups of people (politicians, white men, the wealthy, the poor, immigrants, the police, protesters, people who won’t protest, people handing out money, people taking money). Angry energy resonates in the collective and we all tend to blame each other. Recently, anger has been directed at me for not wearing a mask and also for wearing one in the same day.  

 This unconscious behavior isn’t anybody’s fault. It’s our wiring. We can’t see what we are doing because the decider (ego-limbic system) shuts down the prefrontal cortex (newest part of the evolving brain).  The reactive reptilian brain of our ancestors is wired for tigers and, for the most part, it’s worked fine for thousands of years.  But we are realizing that the old mind isn’t working.

We are at a moment of potential global awakening. With meditation practice, a non-dual mind emerges and the prefrontal cortex learns how to stay online; we can notice the reactivity of the limbic system sooner. There really isn’t a tiger, it just feels like one.

World problems aren’t getting solved by the old mind of right and wrong thinking. Racism, sexism, partisan politics, and economic inequality are still here and thriving.

“We cannot solve problems with the same mind that created them.” –Einstein

The new mind is one that has a capacity for nonduality. It knows how to cultivate presence and invite forgiveness and gratitude, not as a strategic quid pro quo, but because it’s our true state. Nonduality can recognize the dual as part of itself; not a bad part, just part of our wiring. Awakening is a natural unfolding of universal intelligence and the implicate order of an evolving self-organizing system.  

The non-dual mind can engage the prefrontal cortex and open space so the different, limitless energy of our universal heart and mind can emerge. A non-dual mind can express the need for reparation without blame or criticism because it sees the nature of our interdependence and accepts the reality of both, human darkness and light.

For example, the dual mind might say, “I am angry at you. You are wrong.”  With awareness, the non-dual mind might say, “Anger is arising, let me investigate what this is about.” Personalizing the situation isn’t necessary, just an ability to be with anger and respond from our wisest self.

Nelson Mandala embodied the power of forgiveness. Anger did not rule his actions. He once said, “Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.”

We don’t have to wallpaper over unforgiveness with fake forgiveness. I suggest we come to recognize our capacity for presence with whatever is; to begin to intimately know and process anger and unforgiveness so we can finally move on from duality.

There’s a fragile, mysterious and beautiful interconnectedness of all things– the good, bad and the ugly. Forgiveness is not something we do, it is an energy that arises from the awakened consciousness.

Eventually, we realize that the world is our household and our capacity for forgiveness and gratitude, and the wise action that emerges, has the power to stop the war against ourselves and the planet. 

“Your heart is the light of this world. Don’t cover it with your mind.”  –Mooji

 

Blog is written by Kimberly Ruggiero: Kimberly Ruggiero: Kim received a BS in Chemistry and MA in Consciousness Studies. She works as a Program Coordinator in Integrative Health and Healing and facilitates a Mindfulness Meditation Group at TGI. She is also a professional coach and fine artist.

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nailia Nov 25, 2020 awakening, consciousness, consicous, family, forgive, grace, gratitude, how to forgive, justice, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, presence, thanksgiving 2 Comments
The Healing Power of Stones

The Healing Power of Stones

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The Healing Power of Stones

Since I first began Fifth Element Beads, my aesthetic goal has been to design jewelry made from my hand made clay beads and accented with simple beautiful stones. At first I selected stones based on their visual appeal. But, soon I found out that customers were more interested in metaphysical properties of stones. One friend, a recovering alcoholic, requested amethyst, also known as the “sobriety stone”. Another friend was looking for onyx as a traditional 7th anniversary gift and because she also knew onyx can transform negative energy into positive energy. When I realized how important it was to my customers to choose their stones mindfully and with deep intention, it was time for me to embark on yet another educational journey – this time to gain a deeper understanding of stones.

My first stop in learning about the metaphysical properties of stones was Brian Robertshaw – my bead guru. Brian is the owner of Beadniks in Brattleboro, VT and an extremely knowledgeable bead historian. My first question for Brian was “How did human beings begin attributing metaphysical properties to various stones?”. I was astounded to find out that the connection between specific stones and their metaphysical properties can be traced so far back in history that it is near impossible to discover their origin.

One thing that I learned through the MALT program at TGI is the incredible power of human intention. We may not, at this moment in time, have scientific data that proves rose quartz can bring love into your life. However, over several centuries and across many different cultures, humans have attached a powerful and universal intention of love to this particular stone. That is what I believe accounts for the magic I see happen when a customer puts on a rose accented bracelet and carries on that universal and timeless intention of love.

As some of us get ready to begin a new school year, why not go into it with some powerful intentions and stones to support those intentions? Here is a brief guide on just a few stones (pictured) and their metaphysical properties:

1 HOWLITE is very common and naturally is a white opaque and chalky stone with beautiful gray and black marbling. Because of howlite’s ability to hold color, it is often dyed a teal blue and called “Chinese Turquoise”. Howlite is a calming stone that can help with stress and anxiety.

2 CORAL , along with shells, was one of the earliest materials used to create beads. Coral can naturally occur in a range of orange and reds but is often enhanced to brighten its color when used in jewelry. Coral brings peace and facilitates intuition.

3 TIGEREYE is found all over the world and has been used by people in various cultures for centuries because of both its beauty and its metaphysical properties. It is a shiny brown stone with marbling in golds, yellows, and reds. It was named tigereye due to its visual resemblance to the actual eye of a tiger. This stone is great to have to overcome obstacles, take action and access one’s own power. I have also had customers who use this stone to help them get through tough mercury retrograde periods.

4 CARNELIAN is a personal favorite. Carnelian is a translucent stone that comes in a range of oranges. It has beautiful color naturally without any enhancement. Carnelian is the stone of true creative expression. I have heard that the pop star, Adele, will not step on stage to perform without carnelian on her person.

5 ROSE QUARTZ is all about love. Even if you know very little about stones, you might know that rose quartz is associated with love and has been since as far back as historians can trace. Quartz, in general, is known as “the all purpose stone”. Any kind of quartz is good to have and there are several types. However, if you are looking to bring more love into your life, rose quartz is the stone to have.

6 LAVA ROCK is a good stone to utilize when you are feeling a need to connect more with nature. Lava rock helps us become more rooted to the earth. Additionally, lava rock is a porous stone that is ideal for holding essential oils which makes it a very popular stone for beads.

7 LEPIDOLITE is a lesser known stone but is actually quite common. Lepidolite is known as the stone of transition. It often helps us to overcome emotional troubles that tend to accompany times of significant transition.

Ingrid Baron is the owner of FifthElementBeads.com

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Brad Wallace Oct 10, 2019 No Comments
WOT Colleagues Publish First Volume of Creative Writing Series on Amazon.com

WOT Colleagues Publish First Volume of Creative Writing Series on Amazon.com

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WOT Colleagues Publish First Volume of Creative Writing Series on Amazon.com

What does it mean to “Live the Writer’s Life”?

To find out, ten strangers formed a writing cohort, came up with an audacious plan to write and publish and book together, and created “Where the Words Await…Walking the Writer’s Path”.

In this first-ever collection of writings by colleagues from TGI’s Writing and Oral Traditions Program, ten authors gather their best fiction and non-fiction pieces and add insights and musings about the writer’s craft. They formed Ten Scribblers Press, an independent publishing company, to distribute their work before a world-wide readership on the Amazon.com platform. This book is Volume One in The Graduate Institute Creative Writer’s Series.

According to Publishing Center Director Robin Moore, “This is much more than a student project. Instead of waiting for the gatekeepers of the mainstream publishing industry to smile on them and accept or reject their work, these writers formed their own publishing company and launched their own literary ship under the flag of Ten Scribblers Press. They are not alone. They have joined thousands of emerging writers who make up the rowdy ranks of the Indie Publishing Movement, a bold departure from traditional publishing which is changing the literary landscape of contemporary American culture.”

where the words awaitWhat is this book all about?

Consider these words from the Introduction:

“The structure of Where the Words Await… might remind you of a multi-author, modern version of Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales: a bunch of ragtag folks meet at the beginning of their spiritual pilgrimage and decide to have a storytelling contest on the way. In the space of the story, each pilgrim shares not only the best story they’ve got, but a little about what drives and challenges them on their writing journey. There may be some conversation between the storytellers and the stories; but, for the most part, each story stands on its own and carries its own significance. In order to allow for this kind of conversation, the book is divided into sections by author. Each chapter features a piece of poetry, fiction, memoir, or essay alongside a small offering from its author that contemplates what unsettles or inspires them in regard to writing. The authors’ voices mix with those of their pieces, and all of these weave together to create a larger narrative about the creative process.

“We intend that Where the Words Await… will engage future generations of continuing or aspiring writers in seeing that, though the writing process is messy and difficult, it is ultimately rewarding and accessible to all willing to grapple with its darker parts. This collection invites readers to find and successfully live their version of a writer’s life: not by telling them what to do, but by letting them live the experiences of other writers trying to find a “way into” writing. Your path will not look exactly like any of those presented in these pages—nor should it. Even so, we have found in our own writing community that it can be helpful to hear many opinions and ideas about what the best avenue is to writing and becoming an author.

“This book could be a small part of you discovering what works for you: or, even better, what doesn’t. Either way, we hope this book wakes you up to your own truth. We invite you to dip into the Quick Start Guide we have included at the end of this book as a way of jump-starting your own writing process. We have come to believe, in co-creating this book, that the writing process is a series of small awakenings. Like walking a labyrinth, our paths lead us deep into the center of own writing practices and beliefs, only to send us back to the outer rings again. It is easy for us to lose our confidence during those times, but equally possible to gain insights that enable us to break through barriers and conquer self-doubt.

“This book is proof that having an encouraging community of creators behind us is key to unlocking powerful narratives and writing through resistance. After all, the writers featured in this volume had enormous help and support from one another, as provided by the structure of our M.A. Program at The Graduate Institute.”

Members of the Writing and Oral Traditions Cohort

This book was created by members of the Writing and Oral Traditions Cohort 19-01:
Paul David Adkins, Pamela Briddle, Kyla DeRisi, Larry DiBernardo, Caren Goodhue, Sarah Gretzky, Cheryl Riello, Ann Sullivan, Tess Torrey and Rick Hribko.

To read learn more about this book and about The Graduate Institute Publishing Center, visit www.learn.edu/publishing

Always wanted to write and publish a book?

We are now calling for manuscripts created by cohorts and individual authors. Thanks to TGI’s affiliation with Amazon, we can now offer first-time authors an affordable and user-friendly approach to publishing.

The resources of the Publishing Center are available free of charge to any TGI graduate, current colleague and faculty member. To find out how The Center can assist you in bringing your writing dreams to fruition, contact TGI Publishing Center Director Robin Moore via email: moore@learn.edu

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Brad Wallace Mar 16, 2019 No Comments

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